Neighbor: Well, if you're all done trimming the trees in the front yard, I guess you can start on those hedges around back.

Gardener: Can't do that.

Neighbor: Why not?

Gardener: 'Cause everytime I cut them hedges, they run around screamin' like a skewered pig.

Neighbor: I see the problem. Let me clarify a couple of fine points for you. "Hedges" are the green leafy things. "The dog" is the brown shaggy thing.

Gardener: That'd make sense. I shoulda knowed there's no shrubs got red sap in 'em. Oh, by the way...there's been kind of a accident out in th' backyard. The tree house came down, an' yer kids were in it.

Neighbor: What?! How'd that happen? That thing is bolted down!

Gardener: Well, I was trimmin' the tree an' they started shootin' imaginary guns at me, so to protect myself from gettin' shot, I sawed through them limbs that was holdin' the tree house.

Neighbor: The kids were just goofing around with you! Couldn't you have just "pretended" to cut those branches?

Gardener: No way, sir. Judgin' by the explosion sounds those kids were makin', them guns had grenade launchers on 'em.

Neighbor: Don't sweat it. Next time I'll make sure they have real guns.