STUPERMAN! The strange visitor from another world, imbued with incredible powers from beyond imagination! Who IS this mysterious man of might, what does he WANT, and WHAT fantastic secrets does he possess?

Stuperman: Watch. I can crack walnuts between my butt-cheeks.

Geek: Stuperman! The awful bullies at school smack me in the back of the head whenever I walk down the hallway to my locker!

Stuperman: What YOU need is a simple black elastic "nerd strap!"

Geek: What for?

Stuperman: To keep your glasses from flying off when they smack you in the back of the head.

Geek: Golly, Stuperman! You're no help at all! What am I going to do about the bullies?

Stuperman: You know...if those guys were picking on ME, I'd beat them senseless, wrap them each in a cocoon of scrap metal, and leave them dangling from the nearest telephone pole. But then agin, I'm imbued with incredible powers beyond imagination. I'd reckon that a whining little sissy like yourself has no choice but to learn to take it and like it.

Geek: I hate you, Stuperman.