Priest: Oh Lord...help me to understand the sublime mysteries of your creation.

God: OK...maybe I'll let you in on a couple of things. First of all, gravity was an accident. You gusy were originally going to be able to float around propelled by these nifty little fluttering foot wings I had designed. Neat, huh? Still, you wouldn't have been able to fly around very fast. That would have defeated your purpose as a low-cost, nutritious and great-tasting dinosaur food.

Priest: Nice. Thanks. I'll just keep that to myself. The offering plate's already been coming in a little light this month. But I mean, I want you to help me truly see this world. Not through my own eyes, but through your infinite and all-encompassing love.

God: OK, sport. You asked for it. Go ahead. Look.

Priest: Oh. Oh my. Oh my goodness.

God: Kind of like sniffing a couple of hundred thousand magic markers while getting an enema with slow sheet-lightning, isn't it?

Priest: Uh...p-please make it s-stop now, Lord...